Thursday, January 27, 2011

Episode 605

The Thursday night NBC line-up did not disappoint when it returned last week.  Whatever was lacking in Community (not much) was made up for by yet another taste of Troy and Abed in the Morning.  I think a spin-off is in order.  Parks and Recreation premiered with a bang, as well, giving us something to root for (Harvest Festival! Pawnee! Andy!) and solidifying the fact that Rob Lowe is not only physically flawless, but also hilarious.  The Office reminded us why we love Michael and Holly (if the E.T. scene had gone on any longer, I think half of America might have died from awkwardness) and why we just love Michael.  It also reminded us that if we feel purposeless - and we attended a preppy college or university in the Northeast - there's nothing a little Dave Matthews can't fix.

What I'm most interested in for post-break week two, however, is Perfect Couples, a show set up to fail because of its inevitable comparisons to the rest of the line-up.  Luckily for Perfect Couples, though, it's more like Modern Family than Thursday night comedy.  While I won't put money on it yet, I will say that the show has potential (although I said the same thing for Running Wilde, and that fell flat).  The characters in Perfect Couples are still caricatures of themselves, but once the actors assimilate a bit more into their roles, the show could take off.  I'm looking forward to tonight to see how it holds up, but even if it flops, at least it won't be as embarrassing as this.  Mamma mia.

Friday, January 21, 2011

Episode 604

There is currently a poll on People.com asking: Was Steven Tyler too flirtatious with the American Idol contestants?

Currently, 70% of people have responded "No. He's a rocker! What did you expect?"  Well, I can answer that.  I expected that a 62 year-old-man would not tell a 16-year-old girl that she was showing just the right amount of leg in her outfit.  (Even Tom Haverford knows: half your age, plus seven - that's the cutoff). 

I wouldn't say I'm offended by this - I'm not here to judge.  Well, yes I am.  But I'm just saying, it doesn't make for good TV.  Awkward (and even offensive) is good when it's Michael Scott forgetting which Asian waitress is his date; not when we have watch a senior citizen gawk over a minor. 

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Epsiode 603

Chris Harrison has once again had to defend himself against his seemingly expendable role on The Bachelor.  As much as I agree that we really don't need him to announce that "Ladies, Brad, this is the final rose tonight" since the editing makes it irritatingly impossible not to already know as much, I think we need to acknowledge that useless doesn't necessarily mean unwanted.  Andy Richter, anyone?

One of my favorite dispensable-but-not-unwanted TV "stars" is the cool and collected Deshawne, Patti's driver on Millionaire Matchmaker.  He is featured in somewhere between six and twenty seconds of each episode, unenthusiastically fielding Patti's questions as he carts her toward the millionaires.  He's not really serving much of a purpose (in regards to the show itself), but no one will deny that he's a breath of fresh air from the featured crazies who are attracted to women because they like them some "muzzarell'."

The list continues with someone like Vanna White, probably the most impractical figure on TV logistically speaking; but because she is such an American icon, we all let it slide.

Then, of course, there are the non-icons: the useless and unwanted.  Padma Lakshmi, for example: not quite a star, and definitely not necessary to the Top Chef dynasty: Tom introduces every challenge with her, so we don't need her there, and I'm far from taking her food critiques seriously since "cookbook author" doesn't really translate into food knowledge.

Even worse than Padma is everyone but the "third judge" on talent competition shows.  By third judge, I of course mean the Simon Cowell of the group - be it Piers Morgan on America's Got Talent, Nigel Lythgoe on So You Think You Can Dance, Ben Folds on The Sing-Off... and so on.  All the other judges are just decoration (tacky decoration, at that) - I'm convinced they are the reason DVR fast-forwarding exists.

The winning show for meaningless participation, however, is Big Brother, where everyone, from house guest to host to live audience member, is completely and utterly worthless.  These people make Chris Harrison look like Walter Cronkite.

Monday, January 10, 2011

Episode 602

As I kick off Season 6 of this blog, I think it's only fitting to shout out to my favorite six-season show, Dawson's Creek.  This was the first show I ever obsessed over, and I learned all of my life lessons from it, too - for better or, more likely, worse.

Most of the cast of Dawson's Creek has gone on to bigger and better (or just weirder) things: Michelle Williams is an Oscar-nominated actress, Joshua Jackson is the star of a hit TV show, and Katie Holmes... has a really stylish daughter?  James Van Der Beek's post-Creek success, on the other hand, has been, well, lacking.  But recently it has come to my attention that he is, at least, aware of this.  Perhaps as an antidote, he has jumped on the Funny or Die bandwagon.  In doing so, he has (redundantly) demonstrated that he is not quite as clever as Joshua Jackson, but he did show some gumption.

In another video, Van Der Beek says: "If you're under the age of 20, odds are you know me best from a five-second clip of me crying."  He is referring to this viral video which has frighteningly easily eclipsed his only professional success-story.  While the early work of other TV stars - like Neil Patrick Harris or any of the Judd Apatow crew - might also be forgotten by the younger TV-watching generations, the difference is that embarrassing YouTube clips don't dictate their current Hollywood status. 

But don't worry, James, it could be worse: you could be David Hasselhoff.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Episode 601

The least interesting thing on television is almost always the news.  Well, maybe second to Melissa D'Arabian's cooking show.  In any case, the news gets interesting when people get interesting.  By now, you've probably all seen the homeless man with the golden voice story.  Compelling (if bizarre), and so it went viral.

Currently on its way to going viral is the marriage of Jon and Caroline Kleiman, which took the form of a flash wedding at the Prudential Center in Boston.  The footage itself was popular (not to mention tear-inducing) but TV brought it to a new level: the newlyweds embraced the sensation and have already been featured on three different news programs.

Now that's the kind of story I want to watch on TV.  Leave the real news to magazine and newspapers - people who care about the news also tend to like to do boring things like read, right?  So, win-win-win.